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Self portrait by Michelle and Tina Schill

We need to have confidence in order to be successful. I think this is true because I have always struggled with self-confidence. I am always afraid of failing so I either end up not trying at all or causing myself to fail out of fear.

I believe that confidence is the key to everything we do in life. We need to have confidence in order to have a happy life and do the things that we want to do. Many times we have strong desires and goals but lack of confidence and fear prevents us from these things.

I think that we need to understand that confidence does not come from the validation of others. It comes from within. This is a concept I have always had trouble grasping. I was taught from a young age to receive validation from the exterior world instead of the interior one. This has caused me many problems in my life. I desperately needed to hear the approval of others regardless of what I thought about myself and my work.

To be more confident you need to realize that the only person who really needs to like what you do is you. When you complete a project ask yourself what your honest opinion is of it. Is this the way that you perceive it? Is this how you want to do it? Did someone else talk you into doing it this way or is this the way you wanted it done? Is this really and truly your work from the heart?

We need to be happy with what we do. It does not matter if others are happy or not. We must remember that we are the ones that have to live with what we do, not anyone else. If you are in a profession that someone else chose for you, they do not have to get up every morning and go to that job, you do. If you are engaging in hobbies that someone else chose, then ask yourself why. We cannot have confidence and succeed when we do things that we have not chosen for ourselves. They are the dreams of others, not our own. If it does not bring you happiness then you will not succeed and your confidence will fail you.

I recently had an incident that taught me that what others think is not important. This incident was caused by people who do not know me but have only read my blog. It reminded me so much of y relationship with my mother that I was devastated. I thought I had put that issue behind me but the Universe wanted to show me that I was not done working on that it yet.

I believe that I have come further along with this issue but probably still have more work to do on it. I found that I have been a bit less caring of what other’s opinions are, especially if they are people who are not important to me.

When we realize that the only opinion that matters is our own, is when we will begin to succeed. We will have the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them without being devastated by them. Mistakes are always learning experiences even though there are some who criticize merely to cause hurt to others. Do not let them hurt you, but let them teach you. Every rude and hurtful person that comes into your life you must perceive as a teacher and a learning experience. In this way you will grow, succeed and be happy. – Michelle

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