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One of my signs from John. I have had my wax warmer in the same spot since the day I moved here, a couple years before he crossed over, and his picture has been in this same spot since he crossed over. I keep my warmer on most of the time but never saw this heart reflection on his picture before.

This is one of my favorite topics because it changes grief (we can never do away with it completely, nor should we) and it destroys the illusion we have been fed about what death truly is.

This past holiday season I came across a video by a psychic medium in which she shared ideas on how to include loved ones who have crossed over in the holiday festivities. This not only helps those who are grieving get through these difficult times but those in Spirit actually enjoy this too.  She had many ideas from setting a place at the table to having a reading done.

I sent the video to a good friend of mine whose father crossed over the previous spring. I thought she could share it with her mother to help her and the whole family cope with their first holidays without the physical presence of the patriarch of the family. My friend texted in response that she would share it with her mother (who is a bit on the conservative side) if she felt it appropriate. I immediately thought that she was taking this in a manner in which I did not intend and thought to myself that I would need to explain my intentions to her. We are now at the end of March and I have yet to do so. My ME/CFS brain fog sometimes gets in the way and I forget these things. Now that my health is improving, I am hoping to remember to explain myself to her. Not that this has hindered our friendship in any way, but it is important to me that people understand what it means to include loved ones in family functions.

As John mentioned this morning, there is more than one way to maintain a relationship with someone who has crossed over. Even if you are extremely conservative and have misgivings about things considered woo woo, there is need to forget or ignore your loved ones who have left the Physical Realm, if you do not wish to.

First we must understand that Spirits can hear us when we speak to them, whether we speak out loud or in our heads (telepathically). They hear us and they do respond. Whether we hear them or not is entirely up to us. It requires an openness of both the heart and mind. Many times we will “hear” our loved ones and brush it off, thinking “well, I know how they would have responded so I am sure this is just my imagination.” Granted, there are some instances where it may be your imagination; however, even in those instances, if you begin to act as if it is not your imagination, you become better and better at “hearing” your loved one and will eventually be able to  have fluid two way conversations.

There are many other things that you can do to include your loved one and maintain a relationship with them that do not involve conversation. One of the most beautiful things I have heard about was something my aunt and her sister used to do. On their mother’s birthday they would go out to dinner and bring a framed photograph of their mother. When they sat down at the table in the restaurant they would set the photograph at one of the place settings. In this manner they celebrated their mother’s birthday while including their mother, even though she had crossed over several years before. Although they may not have been aware of it, their mother was there for her birthday celebration and enjoyed it.

Another thing is when you reminisce about a loved one they will be present. Any thought or mention of them, in a loving manner, will attract their attention and they will be present. You do not need to be a medium or receive readings to interact with your loved one.

Any tradition you had with your loved one or any “ritual” in their memory will automatically involve them. They will show up, be present and interact whether you have awareness of them or not. Doing these things is normal and natural. It not only honors the memory of your loved one but includes them in family activities while helping you heal your grief.

Also, based upon John’s behavior after crossing over, Spirits can be very persistent in trying to get your attention (I always said I should have made John’s middle name Persistence instead of Patrick). There are many ways they do this. Sometimes you will feel a soft breeze on your cheek while indoors in the middle of winter when there is no breeze possible. Other times, inanimate objects may move or you will hear various sounds which technically should not be heard. These are signs that your loved one is trying to get your attention.

Remember, they are present at every holiday function, family celebration and every vacation. – Michelle

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