This past Thursday I went to lunch with a good friend. We had a great time and fantastic and deep conversation. My friend’s husband is a psychologist and she is a counselor. I was telling her about anger I have towards someone I love very much. She said to me, “if I were in your shoes I could not love him.” I told her this is what unconditional love is; however, this does not mean I have to stay with this person nor put up with the continued behavior.
Shortly after saying this to me she tells me that I am hanging onto anger and need to forgive. In the past I would have backed down, telling myself that of course she was right and I was wrong. This was who I used to be. Now I stand up for myself and if the person does not want to hear what I have to say they are removed from my life. This woman is a good friend for a very good reason: she is a good listener and open minded. I explained to her that I was not hanging onto my anger but facing it honestly and dealing with it so that I may live my life. I explained that anger is a valid emotion and serves a purpose. In this case, the purpose was that due to my strong love for this person, I was letting him get way too close again. I was not being honest with myself and I had myself convinced that this person had changed. My anger was pointing out and warning me that there have been many signs that this person had not changed and I was setting myself up for pain again.
Not being angry is not Spiritual, it is called denial. Being Spiritual is being honest and admitting you are angry, facing it and dealing with it. The only time it is not Spiritual is if you carry it with you 24/7 and let it control your life. I refuse to do so. I am using my anger to my benefit and to have a happy life.
After this lunch, I spent two days contemplating whether or not I should write a blog post about anger. On Saturday evening I received Anna Sayce’s newsletter and her post was on anger and exactly what I had been thinking. I took this as a sign from the Universe that I should write about it and I am pasting the link below to Anna’s post on anger. I recommend that you read it. – Michelle