I just finished watching a movie called “Bruno”, which was produced by Shirley McLane (this should tell you that it is a movie I enjoyed). This movie is about a little boy named Bruno who likes to wear dresses and wigs. Needless to say, he takes a lot of harassing.
Although my son, John, did not cross dress, he was gay. The movie reminded me a little of mine and John’s lives as Bruno was raised by a single mother and has a father who expects nothing but machismo from his son. Bruno’s mother let Bruno be who Bruno is. I did the best I could to do the same with John.
There were times John’s father would get angry with me because I was not forcing John to act like a “boy”. One time he became angry with me because I was not forcing our son to play sports. No matter how much I explained that not everyone enjoys sports and John happened to fall into that category, his father would not listen. I, on the other hand, could not understand forcing the person I love the most to do something he did not enjoy. Sports are meant to be fun, if you do not enjoy them then they cease to be fun and they turn into torture.
I remember once, when John was about three years old, we went to McDonald’s. John ordered his usual Happy Meal and on that day the children had a choice between a Matchbox car or a miniature Barbie doll. John indicated that he wanted the doll. I questioned him as to if he was sure about this and he said yes. On the way home I asked John why he chose the doll over the car. He said, “mommy, look how beautiful her hair is.” I did not wonder at that point in time if John was gay or not. At the age of three I felt the point was moot because I was not sure if anyone could be sure of their sexuality at that age. I am also still not sure whether clothes, toys, etc. preferences indicate sexual preference. I do recall thinking, however, that if John’s father found out he would kill me. The fact that I had to think such a thought is a very sad statement about our society.
It was not until John was about 17 that I began to suspect that he might be gay. I did not feel certain because he had not yet told me. To make that assumption about someone is wrong. We should never assume anything about anyone unless we hear it straight from them, in which case, it is no longer an assumption. And you know what they say about the word “assume”.
I was not embarrassed or angry that my son was gay. I love my son and am proud of him for who he is. My only problem was fear. Fear is always due to lack of knowledge. When we do not understand something we immediately go into fear mode. My fear was due to what the church was teaching me. Although what they taught about sexual preferences did not resonate with me, I would often worry that my intuition was wrong and the church was right.
When I began using my psychic abilities again I learned many things from Spirits, particularly my son, John. The first thing I learned was that my son was now exceedingly happy and was not burning in hell due to his sexual preference, especially since hell does not exist (unless you want it to, of course). Another important fact that I learned is that God/Source/The Creator/The Universe does not judge us nor does she/he/it have a problem with homosexuality, cross dressing, etc. It is we, humanity, who came up with judgment and hell.
The boy in this movie said he did not want to be a girl but he likes to wear dresses. This made me think about the fact that our Creator did not invent clothes, let alone who should wear what style of clothes. That was us again. Bruno also made a point in this movie that there are many cultures presently and throughout history where men wear skirts, dresses or robes. Society was finally able to accept women wearing pants so why can’t men dress as they choose, too?
Parents: accept and love your children for who they are. No one is exempt from walking in my shoes (those of a grieving parent). – Michelle